Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
