bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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