And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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