you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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