I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
