Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
