if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
