"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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