turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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