as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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