i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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