Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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