I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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