The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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