Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
