Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
