it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
