i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
