Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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