Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
