he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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