I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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