i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
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It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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