If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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