If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
wow bdsm is so cute
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
