Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
