my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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