I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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