so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize