Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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