how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
