I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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