Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
