dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
