omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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