I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
