Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
