I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
