took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
