she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
