That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I want a musical about memes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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