i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize