how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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