You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
