How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
