My first STD was from a foam party
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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