yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
