NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
