Whod you bang
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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