Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
