Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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