Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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