I wish I only lived at night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
