a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
