I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
