i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
