Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

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(773): So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first http://tfl.nu/bbw8

Replies (13) Good night (2439) Bad night (1118)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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(843): got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired http://tfl.nu/eibd

Replies (80) Good night (2658) Bad night (35849)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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(757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/y207

Replies (21) Good night (971) Bad night (5933)
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(516): View more from New York

I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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(516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8

Replies (18) Good night (1312) Bad night (8844)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever

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(303): Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever http://tfl.nu/gvxq

Replies (21) Good night (10657) Bad night (2020)
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(806): View more from Texas

And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...

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(806): And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice... http://tfl.nu/3gqd

Replies (16) Good night (2867) Bad night (1016)
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(416): View more from Toronto

ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor

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(416): ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/rb71

Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (1046)
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(562): View more from California

Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

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(562): Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night http://tfl.nu/t1ll

Replies (2) Good night (1520) Bad night (809)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit

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(203): Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit http://tfl.nu/qeew

Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (2102)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor

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(303): Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor http://tfl.nu/xy0n

Replies (4) Good night (2064) Bad night (562)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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(240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no

Replies (7) Good night (390) Bad night (938)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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(612): He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket. (1-651): It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm. http://tfl.nu/ei3h

Replies (8) Good night (2363) Bad night (372)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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(703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh

Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (505)
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(630): View more from Illinois

So what's going on?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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(630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl

Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (352)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby

(1+61): View more from

Yah. Thai people are way too trusting

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(+61): It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby (1+61): Yah. Thai people are way too trusting http://tfl.nu/j4hl

Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (411)

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