So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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