i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it glows. i had to have it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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