Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw

Replies (38) Good night (1266) Bad night (7955)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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(402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande

Replies (19) Good night (1943) Bad night (3762)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

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(608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/nzfl

Replies (23) Good night (6266) Bad night (1229)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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(601): After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable. http://tfl.nu/u7w9

Replies (5) Good night (2848) Bad night (1237)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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(+44): I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.' http://tfl.nu/vhcz

Replies (5) Good night (2737) Bad night (1753)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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(978): Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea. http://tfl.nu/15nf

Replies (8) Good night (869) Bad night (1491)
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(561): View more from Florida

Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.

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(561): Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ad52

Replies (7) Good night (1561) Bad night (708)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(704): I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though http://tfl.nu/2ftm

Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (1269)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.

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(608): This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat. http://tfl.nu/hchn

Replies (2) Good night (1285) Bad night (459)
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(512): View more from Texas

Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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(512): Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back. http://tfl.nu/xf8c

Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (574)
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(713): View more from Texas

She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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(713): She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided. http://tfl.nu/l32x

Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (344)
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(631): View more from New York

A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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(631): A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway. http://tfl.nu/tmel

Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (371)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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(703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk

Replies (0) Good night (920) Bad night (357)
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(813): View more from Florida

What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken

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(813): What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken http://tfl.nu/4g9c

Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (367)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.

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(410): He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome. http://tfl.nu/ga5n

Replies (2) Good night (49) Bad night (105)

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