Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.

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  (315): Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win. http://tfl.nu/wty0
  Replies (66) Good night (2091) Bad night (832)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...

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  (518): Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table... http://tfl.nu/njar
  Replies (9) Good night (3483) Bad night (628)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1412) Bad night (4512)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"

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  (216): i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey" http://tfl.nu/8m25
  Replies (29) Good night (6795) Bad night (1774)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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  (606): Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas. http://tfl.nu/5seh
  Replies (3) Good night (1353) Bad night (1408)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.

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  (302): Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one. http://tfl.nu/7sz8
  Replies (9) Good night (2345) Bad night (776)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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  (215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em
  Replies (21) Good night (2963) Bad night (962)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.

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  (803): I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it. http://tfl.nu/1xwb
  Replies (12) Good night (4420) Bad night (780)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.

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  (304): 1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills. http://tfl.nu/lzae
  Replies (10) Good night (1510) Bad night (619)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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  (203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c
  Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (901)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Cockoligist

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Yes, one may refer to me as that.

  (587): View more from Alberta

  I should make business cards.

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  (780): Cockoligist (587): Yes, one may refer to me as that. (587): I should make business cards. http://tfl.nu/nsw3
  Replies (8) Good night (870) Bad night (429)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out

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  (765): i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out http://tfl.nu/3iy5
  Replies (8) Good night (857) Bad night (395)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.

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  (519): People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style. http://tfl.nu/g3nw
  Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (397)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.

  (713): View more from Texas

  They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.

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  (713): He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings. (713): They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge. http://tfl.nu/nsnt
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (331)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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  (608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (423)

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