remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
