If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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