help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
