glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
