i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
