seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
