Christians are straight up FREAKS
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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