I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
