his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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