Can i not drive my cunt home
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dick very happy bro
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize