Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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