Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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