After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
