After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need water and some morals
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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