hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
