I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
